Monthly Archives: May 2020

“No More Bullshit!

It is said* that upon entering Gerlach there’s a sign saying “No More Bullshit! Trump 2020” but I’m having a hard time sorting out what, exactly, that combination of words might mean. Does it mean that if we re-elect The Donald he promises to stop shitting us? Unlikely, given a spectacularly successful career [He IS, after all, the President of the United States] pretty much built on exactly that, or is he offering a solemn promise to his Unified Forty-Five [% of the electorate**]

to outlaw any outlet that questions, impugns or contradicts whatever he Tweets [excepting, of course, anything he Tweets that contradicts one of his previous Tweets] as soon as he’s reelected, on the grounds that anything that questions or contradicts him is by definition the “bullshit” in question? It’s confusing…and probably meant to be.

We burrow on, unearthing readings [“The Arrival”, above, still moves me to tears whenever revisited] hidden away in our library; David Thomson’s book, which tours Nevada until it ends up overlooking one of my favorite places, Guano Valley as seen from Doherty Rim [albeit in southern Oregon], being another.  Also L. has instituted a program of Facetime bonding over TinTin

with Izel , at about the same age as was Bryan for that on Page Street in 1979…

the very year “DMTTV” was painted in celebration of what had originally been a much more monochromatic-metallic and considerably less colorful event from some dozen years previous.

But here and now the same routines lead, day to day [“slowly, endlessly, quickly” – Fred Kolo]

inexorably back to breakfasts…

and other Big Adventures; all the way up to the Safeway on Military for sundries, for instance.

But soon we’ll be leaving the Bullshit[!] behind, the USA [USA!] will reopen and we can all

again endure our freedoms, meals at Ruth’s Chris’ Steakhouse as well as, yes, Air Travel.  The airlines, my fellow Americans [or suckers, depending] are doing Absolutely Everything They Possibly Can to keep y’all safe while you jet about en masses; social distancing in the terminals,

safer boarding and deplaning, extra hygiene and OCD deep cleaning of the equipment…only

thing they really can’t and won’t do, of course, is to stop overbooking flights so don’t get your hopes up***, be sure to wear a mask and pray that sitting elbow to elbow breathing recycled

air in a sealed metal tube for however long the flight and that Advanced Deplaning take won’t cause you for some unforeseen reason to be nailed by the latest viral mutation. Terminally.

Gotta keep those stockholders happy, otherwise how they gonna afford their NetJets?…meanwhile we’re just happy to have the daily grapefruits fall out of the sky**** and an occasional meal in the sun without some sheep-dip next door wailing away on an orbital sander.*****

In other news an expert witness******has, based on impeccable photographic evidence, identified our large breed puppies as Flat-coated Retrievers to which they coincide in absolutely every respect [optimism, affection…shedding], having bred true from the union of an Amish Westcliffe blacksmith’s Golden with their mid-size Border Collie mom whom we met. Cosmos, still

growing, has already exceeded the maximum allotted size and GVW for the breed, leading us to suspect something more fortuitously sui generis; Giant Southern Rocky Mountains Flat-haired Retrievers, perhaps.

At which point, slowly, endlessly, quickly, we’ve passed another trash day and are into yet another week, a week well into May, for instance.

 

*Lee Saloutos witnessed it while driving uneasily through and it puzzled us both.  Have we not just weathered [or maybe not entirely weathered] three + years of unrelenting bullshit in this country?  Are ‘they’ promising to stop it?  Isn’t that a kind of blackmail…or “quid pro quo”, S.O.P., what-ever…although it may be WE are the duped…life based on faith [or Fox talk shows] is a lot simpler than one based on ferreting out facts.  Trust me.

**49%, actually, putting those of us who might call bullshit on HIS act decidedly in the minority.

***European carriers, once they’re allowed back in, might be a better option.

****L. returns every day from her afternoon walk laden with fruits freshly fallen from the venerable tree at the Capitol; nature’s belated gratuitous bounty.

*****It became decidedly worse once their base of operational annoyance moved to just the other side of the backyard fence; whenever and if we reach Escape Velocity it’ll definitely be a relief to have it 300 miles or so out of earshot.

******my friend Janet’s dog-loving Scottish cousin.